I never went to a festival as a teen. I didn’t have any money, and I didn’t know anyone else who did. Still, I did some pretty ‘exciting’ things at the age my kids went to their first festival alone.
I was sixteen when I moved away from home. I was ready to move on from the stifling restrictions of a village in Lincolnshire where the occupations of the locals included chicken-plucking and potato growing. For many there, going to the next town was condered edgy, and travelling was a once in a lifetime experience.
I didn’t know what I was doing, and yet I had already hitchhiked the 10 miles to the next town, held several jobs, and had a dicey encounter with some local boys, one of whom thought it fun to shoot an air rifle into a cement pill-box containing a group of his mates.
I’ll never forget staggering through the dark night, my hand over a boy’s throat. Hot, sticky blood running down my arm as I hammered on the door of a local farmhouse to get help. I’ll also never forget how I was the only one who stepped up to help him; despite the fact that it was the first time I’d met him and I struggled to remember his name. Everyone else ran home and pretended they hadn’t been there.
The event heavily coloured my perception of what it feels like to be sixteen. I’m aware that some kids that age are extremely capable, and able to make good choices in a very challenging situation. Others are stupid thrill-seekers who feel they have nothing to lose and will abandon their mates at the first sign of trouble.
What’s fascinating is that when I was preparing my daughters and their friends for Reading Festival I found some of the parents with the biggest worries about their kid’s behaviour were the ones with the least to worry about. Yes, every year some things go wrong, and the tabloids love to make a big deal of it. Every year people like Jeremy Clarkson bemoan the youth of today and how they have no respect. But every year thousands of kids descend on the festival, have a fantastic weekend where nothing goes wrong, and then leave feeling life is worth living and they’re going to give it their all.
What I do know is that listening to my daughters talk about their experiences made me happy and calmer. I also believe that it was a terrific, almost necessary, thing to offer two girls who’d suffered through lockdowns and missed so much of the freedom that I was afforded as a teen.
You can listen to the conversation here, but these are some of the tips I gleaned:
Plan Ahead for the Festival Experience
When it comes to buying tickets you want to register early for the first release of weekend Early Birds. Also, if your kids are camping, it’s worth arriving much earlier than the advertised opening time. They’ll get to pick their campsite and they can also get the silent disco headsets (which sell out quickly). They’re expensive, but I’m told they’re huge fun. Top tip: If your teen is going for just the day it can be worth waiting until closer to the weekend because there are bargains to be had.
Top tip: Download the festival app to plan schedules and navigate the event.
Pack practical items like dry foods, water bottles, a gas camping stove, portable chargers, camp chairs and rain coats. There are free hot water options dotted around the festival and drinking water refills are readily available.
A bin bag is essential. It can be used to keep things dry, put dirty clothes in or even to wear if it gets really miserable.
Wet feet are grim, so check the weather and take wellies if it looks like rain. My daughter didn’t, so when I collected the bedraggled, sopping mess I offered her my own rather than risk having to treat trench rot on her return.
I recommend getting the kids to take the train. On the first day they’ve slept and their excitement will give them superhuman power. In addition, the trains going to Reading are full of other kids doing the same so it’s all a bit of a party.
By Sunday they’ll be exhausted. I recommend, if possible, one parent from your group collecting all of the tents and luggage in the morning. Another can then be on hand, at the very end of Sunday evening, to collect the exhausted revellers. When I say end of Sunday evening, it’s really Monday morning so be prepared for a long night. I know some who’ve let their kids make their own way home on Monday, and it worked fine. It’s entirely up to you.
Safety and Wellbeing
We were really impressed by the response to medical issues, and there were definitely visible efforts to reduce drug-taking, although ketamine was ‘everywhere’. Prepare your kids by listening to the episode on talking about drugs, and talk through the issues with them well before, then go over them again closer to the time.
I got the impression, two years in a row, that theft is a far bigger issue than the stuff we parents are lathering up our brains over. Assume everything will walk, unless it’s kept in your tent overnight or it’s in your bumbag. Last year my daughter lost a number of items to sticky fingers. This year, my younger daughter was forewarned and wore her old school hoodie because she figured nobody would be interested in taking it; she was right. Her friend’s camping chair, however, had far more appeal. I only hope its adoptive parent used it to park their bottom rather than using it as a tree ornament.
Discuss the dangers of alcohol, and the issue of ‘spiking’, as well as the fact that they’re far more vulnerable when they drink. Remind them that people are far more likely to fight with alcohol in their system, so talk through the benefits of walking away from anyone who looks angry/drunk, or giving them a wide berth. Top tip: I provided the alcohol because I knew that they would drink an I wanted to be in charge of what they were drinking. The girls took it in turns so that there was always at least one who was a ‘lookout’ for the others.
My girls said that losing track of your friends when your phone is out of charge can feel very scary. Top tip: There’s an android tent where they offer free charging of mobiles so they don’t have to spend top dollar renting a power pack. I suspect the tent is there to lure teens in with the idea that they might be able to make a few conversions whilst they’re waiting for their iPhones.
Make the Most of the Nighttime
This is when it gets really fun, which is completely understandable. Where else do teenagers get the freedom to wander around in the dark with a large number of people their age, devoid of parents telling them off for being too rowdy? If you can feel your shoulders tightening at the thought of this, maybe take a break from reading my blog and think about what’s really bothering you. Jot it down, all of it, and come back to it later to give your mind a chance to unpick your fears, then ask how true they are. Go hunting for the facts; you might be surprised.
Of course, the downside of teenagers being free to wander around in the dark being rowdy is that those who need the sleep might find it very challenging. I’d suggest packing noise-cancelling headphones if possible, but I always use good old-fashioned ear-plugs, and an eye mask to help with sleep.
Navigating the Festival Grounds
The grounds are divided into zones. Choosing a zone that’s close to the action is a good thing, just for the buzz, but tell your teens to pitch their tent at the back of that site so it’s further away from the noise.
The festival site is massive, so expect to walk a lot; particularly if they go into town to get cheaper hot showers or a nice breakfast.
The Co-Op on site is a fantastic shop for affordable food, supplies and a party-like atmosphere. The Co-Op offer the option to their employees to work at the festival, so all of the staff are people who feel like they’ve won a lottery. They’re excited, there’s often live music, and staff are fun to be around; generally offering a great shopping experience.
I don’t regret letting my girls go to the festival for one minute. They both came home having bonded with friends. They’d found a much-needed sense of freedom and responsibility, and felt ready to tackle a new academic year in which they are expected to step up quite markedly compared to the years before.
All of the stories I heard in which things had gone wrong gave me more, rather than less, faith in the ability of the organisers to look after our kids.
I think our society has set us up to be too fearful of potential dangers and not celebratory enough of the ability teens have to step up when treated with respect and the belief that they will make the right decisions. The key is that we need to make sure they are clear about what the right decisions are; and give them the chance to prove themselves worthy of our trust. This is all about having open conversations with reasonable expectations.
Thanks for reading this, and if you haven’t already listened, I highly recommend you hear my girls talking about the experience themselves. Maybe get your teen to listen for some good ideas.
Also, I would absolutely love to hear your highs and lows of festival attendance. Do you have any great stories, or scary ones to share? Please email me and I’ll read them out on the podcast.
