March 4, 2025
132: Work: What we parents can do to help our kids end up with a meaningful role in society.
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Another day another newspaper headline that says young people aren't working.
According to the Financial Times newspaper, 13.4 per cent of people in the United Kingdon in the 16 to 24 age group were not in employment education or training - “NEET” - at the end of last year.
The ONS figures showed a higher rate of young men outside work or training, with 14.4 per cent of 16- to 24-year-olds classed as NEET compared with 12.3 per cent of young women. and mental health issues seem to be a rising factor.
This podcast is all about helping parents see a way through the maze of problems, rather than dwelling in it, so in this episode I decided to put the figures in context and look at what we parents can do to ensure our kids a way to play a meaningful role in society.
PWC Report:
https://www.pwc.co.uk/economic-services/assets/youth-employment-index-2024.pdf
The World Economic Forum - Future of Jobs Report 2025
What employers consider to be core skills for the workforce:
1: Analytical thinking
2: Resilience, flexibility and agility
3: Leadership and social influence
4: Creative thinking
5: Motivation and self-awareness
6: Technological literacy
7: Empathy
8: Active listening
- To check out the experiences JENZA offers, visit: www.jenza.com
- The JENZA Travel Group consists of heritage and dedicated Summer Camp USA brand BUNAC, Irish youth work and travel brand, USIT, and youth-led work and travel brand JENZA. That's over 60 years of experience.
- Founded in 2023, JENZA arranges flexible working holidays and international internships in Canada, Japan, Australia, New Zealand, the USA and UK.
Thank you so much for your support.
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I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
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Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk
00:00 - What is a NEET?
03:44 - Parenting Strategies for Workplace Preparation
09:20 - Teenage Job Hunting Challenges
14:26 - Benefits of Early Work Experience
18:48 - Skills Employers Value
23:57 - Developing Employability Skills at Home
30:48 - Community and Social Connections
35:46 - Conclusion and Empowerment
WEBVTT
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Susie, hello and welcome to teenagers.
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Untangled, the audio hug for parents going through the teenage years, filling in the gaps. So you don't have to be a trained expert to be a great parent. I'm Rachel Richards, journalist, parenting coach, mother of two teenagers and two bonus daughters. Hi
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there. I'm Susie Asli mindfulness coach, mindful therapist and musician and mother of three teenagers, two of them are taught Susie.
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Do you know what the term neat refers to? N, E, E, T.
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I've actually heard that I can't remember, though it's
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not in employment, education or training. Oh, I didn't know that it's it's used by when they measure things happening around the world. And do you have any idea how many young people are neat in the UK? So these are between 16, I think, and 24
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I don't know, but I heard something on the news where it has shot up, but I can't remember any
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stats. I love that you've said that, because that's why I started looking into it. Okay, right? So the latest official data from the Office of National Statistics showed that at the end of last year, 13.4% of those aged 16 to 24 were classified as need.
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Okay, right? So they're not in employment, they're not in training, and they're not in education. So it's like, what are you doing?
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Okay, don't they have to be though, like, how does it work? I don't know who's Jack anyway.
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And, you know, I always like to put figures in context. So I hunted for comparison, and I found the Price Waterhouse coup per use, unemployment index for 2024 which says that we are, we're average amongst the OECD countries. And before we rely too much on these figures. I want to add that even those who collect them admit that the response rates are really low.
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So they're they're not very reliable. I wanted to use this episode to talk about preparing our kids for work, because, well, first of all, statistically, kids who are neat, so between sort of 16 and 24 they tend to do worse in work generally anyway, because this is a big, important launching area. It doesn't mean they're going to fail completely. It just means we need to kind of get them cracking on at that age. I've seen headlines like the ones you've seen, okay, for example, the FT headline, young people are rejecting work. Why the BBC, as the government tries to tackle the unacceptable rising levels of worklessness, worklessness, yes, and you know, okay, global issues like climate change and AI give us and our kids a sense of helplessness about the future. So I want to talk about the positive things that we can do, because I think we can all feel very panicked when we think see things like that. First of all, it feels like we're catastrophizing because we're feeling like nobody's working anymore, this terrible younger generation who're not getting on with things. Yeah, so the global we've got these global issues like climate change and AI, and they give us and our kids a sense of helplessness about the future. And I don't want us to feel helpless. This isn't this program is not about being helpless. This is about enabling us, isn't it? So we're going to talk about the positive things that we parents can do to ensure our kids don't end up neat, and also, if they are at the moment, what we can, how we can, we can support them. Okay, brilliant.
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That's an idea anyway. I'm not sure it's good to deliver, but we can try anyway, right? Do you have a nugget of wisdom for us?
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Susie,
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well, I'm not sure if it's of wisdom, but I have a nugget, and it was, it's kind of linked to the episode we did last last time on sort of nudging and letting go. And my 17 year olds did their driving theory test this last week. And in the UK, it's, in my opinion, ridiculously difficult. Like, why does it have to be that?
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Really? I think so. I think the pass marks really high. Loads of people fail it. The sites are failing. Interesting are really high. And, I mean, I definitely wouldn't have passed without revising them. Definitely not like it's random questions, horrible test anyway. So they were revised. They're desperate to learn to drive. And they were like, CO we need to get our driving theory. They're kind of really on it, which is amazing.
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And they insisted on booking in for an early date, and I wanted to take them only to one center, because we don't have one like right nearby, which, in hindsight, wasn't the smartest move, because then I was left going, Oh no, if one of them fails, and we could go to one that was quite a long way away at the same time anyway, boring details, they up into the test.
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They were both quite busy, and one of them was a bit poorly.
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And I gave them a bit of a telling off, like, old school, not old school, but like, I don't think you're going to pass guys. I think you need to get your fingers out and revise, because this is actually really difficult. You can't wing this.
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And it was particularly to one of them, but I had to
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address it.
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Can't get who. And
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so then they did, and they did pull their fingers out, and they did revise, and thankfully, they both passed, which was great. And afterwards, actually, they were like, Oh, thanks for nagging us. Oh,
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that's great.
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So they realized, but
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it was weird. It was weird. It was like, it was. Just a really good example of for me, anyway, of this. This the dance that we have between nudging and letting go. If I didn't say that and I said this to them, if I, if I don't tell you this, then you're not going to pass, and then you're going to be really annoyed. And I have this information, you need to knuckle down, and you need to put some hours in, because you need to learn. But also
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that kind of inconveniences you. You have to then take them to the test center again. And, you know, this is and they would have to pay for this. I like it. That's always good that that that works for me too. Yeah, they
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get it. They also get it because they it was only once they start really going through it. They go, Oh, actually, it's quite hard, and I do need to revise, and thanks for making us do
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it. I've got, I've got a funny story about that. My husband is an ex aerobatic pilot, so he's a very high level pilot, and one day he bust airspace, just flying along normal, normal flying. And what happens is, if you go into controlled airspace, there's a there's a kind of message that comes on the system, and you have to do a test because they want to. It's kind of a slap on the wrist and a test that you have to do to make sure that you you're current with what you can and can't do. And he just sat there and went, Ah, this is ridiculous. It's so easy. So he was at his you could just do it at home, so he could have looked all the questions up, and he didn't, and he failed to go through an entire procedure. I just said, Why didn't you, that's weird. Why didn't you look it up? And he just went. I just thought I knew it all.
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Yeah, very interesting, even, yeah, when you get older, what I
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said to them was like, because obviously, if they, if they fail, something with their A levels, or something challenging, then, then, you know, I would never talk to them like that. No, but it was something like, both capable of passing the course, like, course, totally capable.
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So pull your fingers out, whereas in other situations, that's totally inappropriate, yes, and if they hadn't passed, I'd, of course, we'd have to, you know, but do your best. And if, then, if you don't pass, then we'll take it from there.
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Okay?
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And to not put too fine a point on it, when you consider the range of IQ in the UK, anywhere, you know, 100 being the mean, there are many, many people below 100 in IQ who actually take that test and pass it. So it's not, you know, it's hard, but it's, it's just drilling, isn't it? It's growing,
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which also makes me think, why does that be that hard? Yeah, a bit unfair. But there we go. Another discussion.
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So mine is going to be a quick one. It's basically my daughter was having a tough time about something, and she was having horrible dreams. And she said, Mommy, I just, and I just, I've just got to stop dreaming, because she was struggling with her sleep.
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And I said, Darling, you don't know. You don't want to stop dreaming. That's your brain processing stuff when you're in your subconscious. It's actually really healthy. If you're going through hell, you have to keep going, and that's the only way through it. Just, you know, like coming back to that balloon analogy that you used before, where if you push that balloon down in the water, all that will happen is it will pop up, yes, explosively at some point. So I told her that a few days later.
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She said, Oh, it's gone. Yay, right? So, and sometimes it's not that quick, but, you know, and we have challenges where we're stressed because we're trying, we're scared for our kids, and we're trying to fix things, but we have to go through it, yeah? Just pushing it away doesn't fix it, does it?
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Allowing it? Yeah, yeah. Now back to thinking about our kids in the world of work. What's notably different from when I was a kid is, I think it's much harder to get experience, yes, you know, I mean, I don't know when you started working. I was, I had a paper round at 13, and I then I had so many jobs. I was a waitress, I worked in a fish and chip shop, I worked in a wildfowl sanctuary. I worked as an estate agent. You know, all of these things when, loads of things. I freelanced a lot as a waitress, and now I look at my kids, and I think they're they weren't allowed, really, to have formal work until 16. No, they're not allowed, no, and I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case. No, it wasn't.
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The laws changed. I when I was younger, I think I probably started later than you, but I definitely I did babysitting. I did. I did waitressing, and then when I was doing music, most of my work was gigs, like wedding gigs or music playing it. And you learn music every
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single time you do this, you know. And it's really interesting, because I know that you'll have a point to make on this, which is I had a discussion on threads in which a mum had advised her kid to create a CV and go around to all the local businesses asking if they had work. And she said her daughter, who was nervous, was told to apply online. She went in with a CB, and they said, no, no, it's all online. I know you've had the similar thing with your daughter, where she had to go through all this online application stuff. Yeah, yeah,
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yeah. I mean, it's, it's crazy, like both my 17 year olds really wanted jobs. They started sixth form, so they wrote a CV. Actually, my daughter started. She she, she's really on it, and she made her CV, and she's done loads of babysitting already and stuff.
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So she made her own CV, and she got some references from her babysitting mums. And. Which were very glowing, and she went round in where we live, with the CV, and gave it out and did some was told again, do it online. So she did those ones online. She just got on with it. And she was super lucky, because the next day, the bakery contacted her and said, we've got an we've got an opening. So it's also timing.
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You can be lucky and but then she had to go through this crazy process of, you know, what do they call them? Trial shift, another trial shift and a training. And it's naughty.
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There's a lot of unpaid stuff, unpaid labor. We've heard about this. And then then her twin was like, oh, I want a job too. I want to talk. And was slower on the uptake than than she was.
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But God, he did get on with it, and he got his CV, and he went around before a little bit later, and maybe the market was sewn up, or she'd just been lucky. Who knows? I know that it's harder at the moment, and there was nothing, and he was a bit like, oh, and I was, don't give up. Don't give up, people.
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Don't get a job immediately.
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Normally, you know, you just have this really good lesson, great point. Keep going. Keep going. Yes, but you know, an adult has to maybe apply for 200 jobs at the moment. Like, it's nothing to do with you. There's just not a job at the moment. I said, okay, okay. So then in after Christmas, he went round again. I said, go around again.
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And I kind of walked around with him for some of it, but never went in. And he would have killed me if I'd gone in as well. Like, he's very like, mom back off. But I was walking the dog and keeping him company, that kind of walking. And then he did stuff online, and they all told him, We haven't got anything at the moment, but give us your CV and and we'll keep bayo in mind. So he was like, Oh, he was really bummed by the whole thing he really wanted to do. I was really motivated. And I was a bit like, Oh, this is such a shame, because he's really motivated to keep going.
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Keep going. And then the place, one of the places, the garden center, actually, that had said, we don't have anything but give us your CV, contacted him and said, we've got an opening. Can you come and interview? And so he did. He was really nervous.
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He had to do, he had to do a formal interview, which didn't turn out to be that formal, but they presented it as formal. And then he had to do a trial shift.
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And then he had to, you know, fill in a load of forms, do loads of health and safety. It's like a hole. What happened to come on 10 minutes early on Saturday? I'll show you where the loser co off. We go like, it's completely different. It's really different. And then he got another call from a restaurant that said, Do you want to come and do a trial shift? So actually, he's landed two jobs, great, and that's not going to last forever, because that's too much for him at moment, but it was a really good lesson for him in like, don't give up, just keep at it, keep at it, and you will be rewarded.
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Yeah, but it's not so easy. I
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think it's, I think it's really challenging, yeah, and I think we that's a wonderful message. And I, what happened with me was, or my daughter, is, I drove around to this cafe because I said, I've seen that they're looking for people. And she got out. I parked further down the road.
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She got out, went up to the manager who was emptying the bins, and said, Hi, I'd really love to have a job in your cafe.
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Yeah. And he actually walked down the road and said, Are you, are you her mother? And I said, Oh yeah, hi. And he said, Well done for staying in the car.
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Yeah, because I don't like it when the parents, and also it's because it's kind of they don't want kids to rely on their parents too much. So so she got that, got job. She had tried out, and got the job, and then the other job she's got, again, she turned up, yeah, and just said, hi. I really would love to help you out. One of the reasons I wanted to talk about this is, I think the earlier we get our kids doing things like this, the more they realize that you have to just keep going Yes, and that, that people very often, that they'll, they'll give you more latitude as well. When you're young and you're making mistakes and you're on minimum wage, you know, you kind of can, you can break things and do it wrong without it being catastrophic. I think when you're 2122 leaving higher education, and you've never done any work, that's really daunting. Yeah, and not, not that people do that. But I'm just saying that I think actually it's really beneficial.
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It
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gives, I think the biggest thing it gives them is confidence, Yeah, completely agree, which is just so, so valuable, yeah, confidence to have a conversation with somebody that is difficult. Just yeah, just confidence and and confidence in themselves. You know, it's the old classic, isn't it? If you, if your self esteem is lacking, then make yourself a really easy challenge to stick with for a couple of weeks, like, I'm going to drink a glass of water every day for two weeks. And then when you do it, you can look back and go, I did that. I believe in myself a bit more. It's that kind of thinking, and it's just so valuable, yeah, and
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I've noticed that with my daughter, what's been extraordinary is that she now her self worth is entirely to do with what she's able to do is not based on social media or what her friends think about her. And she's having to deal with people from all sorts of journeys. She's dealing with little babies, yeah, and toddlers, and so she's looking at these great it's great, and elderly people and and you know managers who've got very big attitudes, and you just go, so.
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Well, yeah, but you know, she's having to manage this. And go, okay, I can push back a bit on this, but there's no Yeah, right, and
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remembering very helpful, really good skills.
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Yes, I was talking to my, my eldest, who's not been so out doing jobs as the other two, but has done, he's done other things, but it's the confidence side. So So he, had something the other day, actually, that he had to do, and I was kind of empathizing with him and saying, Oh yeah, it's kind of hard, this adulting lark, isn't it? I think it's really hard too. And he's like, Yeah, it's really hard. He had to, he had to talk someone.
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It was difficult, and he didn't want to have to. And I said, do, because he had to ring the bank, like, I don't know, 18 months, ages ago, and he was really worried about it. And I said, Do you remember when you had to ring the bank and about something that had gone wrong in his account? And he was really worried about it? All worked out fine. He didn't want to do it and but he did it. And I stayed in the room with him, but didn't get involved at all. And he said, Oh my god, I was sweating, and it was really challenging, but he did it, and the end the conversation went brilliantly, and it was all fine. I said, Do you remember having that conversation? And he went, Oh yeah, that but that wasn't so bad. And I went, No, no, no. You thought it was really challenging. And he went, oh yeah. So you just have to do these things once, sometimes twice, but once, and then you're like, Oh, I got this. I can do this. And that's if we don't put our foot out into the world to do the first time then and keep ourselves comfortable and small, then we don't try. No, that's super important, absolutely.
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Now, do you want to hear a statistic that might blow your mind? Go for it.
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According to the OECD, lowest rates of needs, right? We've got 12% around about 12% in the UK, right? Where do you think the lowest rates of needs are? Oh, gosh, I have no idea. The Netherlands, Switzerland and Iceland.
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Oh, yeah. Well, that makes sense enough. The bottom
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three are Italy, Colombia and Greece.
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Interesting. They're very different countries, aren't they? I mean, the Netherlands, they don't wrap their children up in cotton wool, so they will, like, go out and get a
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job. I looked at the areas where they have really low level rates of need in the youth and strong vocational training, which is like skill matching the education system with the labor market, so that you actually don't have mismatches.
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Government backed initiative to reduce unemployment so youth friendly work policies, like in the Dutch labor laws encourage employers to hire young people by providing subsidies and ensuring fair treatment for part time workers, gig economy regulation and strong vocational counseling services. So So counseling services that match kids up with possible jobs, you know, welfare and support systems so that kids are struggling, you know, mental health and things like that.
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It's really important, whereas maybe
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here we've come a little bit towards, if we can, and I'm aware that some people, some kids, need jobs to, you know, be able to eat and stuff like that. Like some people need that. And also the cost of living. Mean, there are less of the, you know, the minimum wage jobs, because other people need them to Yeah. So I think, I think we've gone a little bit towards, for those who are able, this idea that your education is so important, it's so important we must get a good education. So you don't want to have, you don't want to get a job, because that will take away time from your studies. And our school systems are so or they can be quite intense and very, very stressful for the kids. So I think this is like, a, I don't know, an understanding, almost, of the last, last year of school, or, you know, give up your job because you've got to focus on your studies. I think that plays a role. And if you've got mental health problems, you know, let's cut out the stuff that is stressing you. Maybe you don't need to do the job kind of thing, whereas maybe, and I'm not this is just a thought some, sometimes, not always, but sometimes it's better to to have something else as well. I agree.
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Yeah. So there is an element of,
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I think there's a strong cultural element of that, of the, you know, our our education system, which Rebecca, Dr Rebecca Winthrop talked about in the disengaged team, which has a very achievement driven system and and then the overscheduling of spare time that's also crept in. And so, for example, with my daughter, who's actually got an offer to Oxford in I know she's working really hard. I know it, but when she's when it's the holidays, I've said she because she's on an agency books, and she gets sent shifts where she can go and work in bars and things like that. And I'm like, go, go. You need this. And she always comes back tired, but buzzed. She always feels great, because it's completely different to what she's doing on a day to day basis. It takes her completely out of her head. And so I think even the ones who are really high educational achievers who are very academic. It's super helpful and super good for them.
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Yeah? 100% agree with that, yeah. So what I thought would be helpful for us parents is actually looking at what employers think we need in terms of skill. In the workplace, because I've actually asked somebody else the other day, and they came up with the thing that was number six on the list, not the first thing. So the World Economic Forum had a future of jobs report 2025 and there was a chart that showed what employers consider to be core skills for the workforce. And this comes back to this age of agency, which we discussed in the disengaged teen book that I read. So number one, what do you think number one is most important thing employers consider to be co skill? Good.
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Good answer is actually analytical thinking. Okay.
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Number two, resilience, flexibility and agility. I'm not agility, as in gymnastics. I'm going to put all these in the podcast notes, if somebody wants to read them, leadership and social influence, creative thinking, motivation and self awareness, technological literacy comes in at six. Yeah, I don't I'm not surprised by that, but it's but it's interesting, because somebody I spoke to said, oh, you know, they need to understand the technology. And I just said, You know what? Well, you can but actually what they're saying now is they're saying we have enough programmers. We don't want, we want people who understand how to manipulate the stuff. But that's creative engine ingenuity, you know, that sort of stuff. And then that was just about empathy and active listening and curiosity and lifelong learning. I'm surprised those are so low down. I'm surprised they're loaded, but they are someone
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who's not very gonna listen to you or empathetic.
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That's really important in a team. But I thought it was
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interesting that analytical thinking was right up there, and resilience and flexibility, yeah,
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that's super interesting, because then you can, if you if you have an analytical way of thinking and you're creative and all of the other thing, resiliency. You've got it all. You can learn on the
00:21:42.579 --> 00:22:59.619
job, exactly, exactly. And what's really interesting is contrast that with what they actually get in school. That's depressing, right, right? No, but it's not because if you actually listen to Dr Rebecca Winthrop, she said, We are the missing piece in the puzzle. We parents these schools, the systems are changing, but they can't change overnight. It's not the teacher's fault. We can't blame the teachers also. We shouldn't there. Sit there and say, schools pointless and any of this stuff, do not put the schools down. What we need to do is we need to get put, put in things in their life, outside of the school hours that aren't over schedules, where they are going to develop some of these other things. And that's where we can come in, right? And one other thing to add to the pot is a report that I saw in the Times last month citing the Department for Education Research, and that found nine in 10 businesses are struggling to fill skills gaps, and the biggest gaps are at entry level. And those polled talked about a lack of employability skills for entry level positions, and they included technical and IT skills, but also soft skills like customer service and management. So we can start at home. And one of the thorn things that I thought was amazing was the interview with Sam Kelly talking about notice and do I'm gonna keep
00:22:59.619 --> 00:23:01.740
mentioning this.
00:22:59.619 --> 00:23:01.740
Let's say so like,
00:23:01.740 --> 00:23:02.579
Hello.
00:23:02.759 --> 00:23:08.160
Why? Why did I Why didn't I think it's one of those, duh? Why didn't I think of that? That's so obvious.
00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:15.480
When we were talking, I just said, oh my goodness, this is setting your child up for success at work.
00:23:15.660 --> 00:23:52.119
Because I'm telling you now, every time I've had to deal with a team or I've had new interns, I just think, Oh, God, please give me people who just get on with it Yes. Because even though I know my job is to show them how to do things and to encourage them and to support them, I have my own job as well, yeah. And I want somebody who goes, Oh, well, I could do that Yes. Or maybe we could and or just checks in with you and goes, would allow me to do that Yes, right? Rather than me having to constantly think, you know, so when people, and I've said that to my kids at home, they come to me and they say, Well, what do you want me to do next? I go, you've just created a problem for me, because now I have to think. And when I'm under time pressure, I can't, I can't think of a job for you.
00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:56.440
Can you just go and find one?
00:23:52.119 --> 00:24:11.039
Yeah. So actually, embedding this in our home life is extraordinary. It turbo charges their ability to when they get, you know, with the very first jobs they do, they're confident because they know when from being in the work in the home.
00:24:07.140 --> 00:24:13.140
They know how to spot what needs to be done. They know they're used to looking for the gaps.
00:24:13.140 --> 00:24:16.380
And they go, I can do that. My goodness, yeah,
00:24:16.380 --> 00:24:26.240
it's a real that will help them sitting here going, Oh, wish I'd known that earlier, but we can still do it later. We can still do but he is sometimes, yes,
00:24:26.240 --> 00:24:34.460
but even when they're at home, you can, you can actually really introduce it and talk about the mental load of parenting and like, why?
00:24:31.339 --> 00:24:38.779
Because that's why I started talking about a team a while back where I kept saying, you know, we're, I've done this for the team. What are you doing?
00:24:38.779 --> 00:24:52.720
Yeah, I think this is even more powerful. And it's this, this sense of, you know, why do we let one person you if you're running a company, you don't get them CEO to do everything, no, or to have to think of everything. They get people in place who actually can do all the bits and pieces for themselves. Actually,
00:24:52.720 --> 00:25:02.279
one of my kids has started going, um, actually, he's, he said it twice, like, I'd like to do more, mom, I'd like to do more in the house.
00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:06.000
And I was like that, yes, I think that's amazing. I mean, it's not really materialized massively yet, but
00:25:07.019 --> 00:25:52.180
the message was great. But you see what I've what I've noticed is that I'm getting so much more. For example, particularly one of my daughters, yeah, well, they, one of them was really hands on already. The other one was really hands off, and she's become super hands on, yeah, and she's noticing. She's really noticing, but what I noticed is that I need to be really accepting of the way she does that. Yes, I can't sit there and say, That's the wrong but if she's not doing it well and something's not quite right, what I'll do is, afterwards, I'll say, Oh, I don't think I showed you Yeah, a better system for that. Do you want to hear it Yes, and allow them to say yes or no, yeah. They say no, no, I'm fine, yeah, because they will maybe yeah. You have a think about it.
00:25:52.240 --> 00:26:17.940
Actually, one of my kids who will absolutely kill me for telling cleaning the toilet, yeah, after using and I mentioned it few times, because we have a honesty policy on most things in our house. And I said, mate, you know, toilet clean anyway. Oh, you know how when it's all tricky? And I went, Well, watch me. I'm going to show you. I'm going to show you.
00:26:17.940 --> 00:26:23.059
I'm going to do this one for you. I'm going to show you. And he made a joke, going, you know, he now you've done it for me.
00:26:23.059 --> 00:26:30.259
And I went, Yeah, but now you know, and know really exactly how to do it. And then actually, it's been done every time since, that's
00:26:30.259 --> 00:26:43.599
the thing, once, once, that's the whole thing. Because it's actually I, I go one step further. I just say, Oh, I'm so sorry I hadn't shown you to do this. And I do, I do. I layer it on. I'm like, Oh, I'm so sorry. It's my fault.
00:26:43.599 --> 00:27:04.980
But once I've done that and I've explained it, I don't really have an out. Do they now? I have an expectation. So I also looked at this, the sorts of workplace skills that they the life skills that they need. And I think what's interesting is the things like time management, which is work in progress. They're all executive skills,
00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:09.059
yeah, some of them have weaker ones and stronger ones in different areas, don't they? And we
00:27:09.059 --> 00:27:23.839
kind of hope that they happen, but they take some of some kids. It just takes so much longer, and that's okay, yeah, but what we have to do is, rather than go, oh, they can't do that, is we have to go, Okay, you just work on one thing at a time. Time management is really a big problem at the moment.
00:27:23.960 --> 00:27:55.900
Let's just try and work with that responsibility communication skills and the communication skills. I shared one on Instagram the other day, which I loved, which was this guy saying, whenever you're out, just say hello to the people in the queue in front of you and the people behind or the people in the shop and do that with your teens. And I've been doing this for quite a while, and my husband always just because, of course, you talk to everybody, but actually I've noticed my kids are doing it now. They really, because they've sort of seen me doing it, and that nothing terrible happens, and
00:27:55.900 --> 00:28:00.599
she's really nice, and you feel really good afterwards. That's brilliant.
00:27:58.119 --> 00:28:00.599
Yes, role modeling it, yeah,
00:28:00.660 --> 00:28:47.619
yes. And it's, it's that I think a lot of the social media stuff doesn't feel that fluid and comfortable, you know. And I, for example, I met up with a friend of mine the other day who I haven't we used to work at CNBC together, hi Patricia, and we haven't seen each other in years. We've just reconnected because she was over in London, and she's got a lovely daughter who's a similar age to mind. We all met up for a coffee, and it was, it was lovely. And she said, afterwards, she said to her daughter, so did you get her phone number? She went, No, no, I've got her Instagram. And Trisha said, Wait, why don't they call like, why don't people call each other? Because she always leaves voicemails and talks to me, and I just call people. People don't do Yeah, things have changed, and it's a much more sort of, they creep into their friendships. They sort of very slowly. They're looking to watch each other.
00:28:45.339 --> 00:28:53.140
They eye each other up to start with, don't they? Because it's kind of feels, it just feels bigger. Because I think these kids have gone through COVID, aren't used to but
00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:58.480
somebody just doing a different way, like they do in a different way. Instagram is just a different way of communicating,
00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:03.000
yes, but that doesn't help you if you're at work and you're having to deal with clients, no, that's true.
00:29:03.240 --> 00:29:25.579
That's my point. So my point is, yes, we can accept they do it in a different way, but, or sorry, and I've got to keep using the Android. And they also need practice at doing the real world stuff, at picking up a phone, yeah, and calling people, yeah, because they scary, yeah, and making those connections, being it, being it, because I remember finding that hard, and I was living the age of the telephone, yeah,
00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:35.059
I still don't really like picking up the phone and calling people, depending if it's something that is important, and actually sharing that with my eldest, who was going, I don't have to do this.
00:29:32.599 --> 00:29:38.539
I don't like calling people, yeah. And he was like, really, really, okay,
00:29:39.019 --> 00:29:43.119
it's kind of, I like that, yes, just being able to admit that it's tough for me too, and
00:29:43.119 --> 00:29:47.019
it doesn't look like it's tough for me, it looks fine, yeah, oh, okay, yeah,
00:29:47.079 --> 00:29:50.619
fake it till you make it. Yeah. I gotta make this cool. Just keep faking it.
00:29:50.799 --> 00:29:53.200
Yeah. Tell me about your borrowing insurance policy.
00:29:53.259 --> 00:29:54.099
Come on, tell me.
00:29:55.779 --> 00:30:42.279
And I just think all of these things that you know, this employability. Be I know that it sounds Look, I know that our job is not to turn out the workforce. I know that our job is to love our kids and nurture them, but I do think that they will feel happier and more successful in life, and if they can work, yeah, and so I'm just talking about those sorts of skills that we can build in our home environment that are aside from the stuff. Because, you know, I see I so often. I'm sure lots of people have seen this, where people say, Oh, this is what the they should be teaching in school. And you think, Well, why don't we teach that? Yeah, you know, like skills with finance. And I just think that's that we are, we are the extracurricular stuff. Yeah, they can, yeah, that's really valid point,
00:30:42.279 --> 00:30:56.140
because it yes, it would be great if they were doing all that stuff in school, and hopefully that the tide will turn. And it is, it's going slowly, yeah, but if, if we can accept that that's actually not happening, whereas we seem to be resisting that it's not happening and not offering it,
00:30:56.140 --> 00:30:57.460
would you like what? That's my job.
00:30:58.539 --> 00:31:14.160
Yeah, it should be in I think it should be in schools. And some of some of those skills, they should be more prevalent in schools. I totally agree with that. But if they're not, then we can bang our heads against the wall and resist that they're not, or we can take action ourselves, can't we?
00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:56.319
Yeah, and I think also these, these skills we've just been talking about, you know, talking to other people and the either on the phone or face to face, and, you know, understand noticing and doing things is also connecting them to a community. And I think understanding community, I think we've I think we've done this wrong. I think we have not understood community over the decades. And I think we, I'm not trying to reinstate an old fashioned village or community, because I think that we don't want that either, but I do think we need to somehow have a hybrid model and just things like, when you're walking around the streets and you see rubbish taking a little pick and you're saying, you know, who does this responsibility? We can do this.
00:31:52.660 --> 00:32:00.660
You know, we we it stops our kids being passengers in their own lives and thinking, Oh, who's in charge of that? Oh, it's me,
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:02.039
and then pointy finger, yeah,
00:32:02.339 --> 00:32:04.920
yeah, yeah. Big thing, yeah. I agree with that.
00:32:04.920 --> 00:32:09.720
I would like to advocate for.
00:32:04.920 --> 00:32:18.359
The sooner our kids can find opportunities to work in any way, the better, and preferably something other people, where they're helping other people, yeah,
00:32:18.420 --> 00:32:32.480
if they can, if they can force, there will be people who, of course, a job isn't possible and they can't and that doesn't mean if you haven't got a job with a teenager, your life is ruined. Yeah, it's not, no, it's not, but it's, it's really, a really helpful thing to do.
00:32:32.539 --> 00:33:16.140
Yeah, definitely. It's definitely made a difference for my teens anyway, right? Well, so I hope that helped, I don't know, but just just rummaging around in what's going on with the workplace and also trying to make you see that it's not that we have a broken system. I there's one other thing I wanted to mention was Leonard Sachs, dr, Leonard Sachs, who wrote this book about how we have this generation of teenage boys who think it's absolutely fine to play video games and live in their basement, their parents basement, and, you know, they're not looking for work. And he talks about that, and I think there is that narrative, but it's not everywhere, and it's not everyone. And I think thinking that these teens are like that, because he says, you know, there's no successful civilization that allowed that.
00:33:16.619 --> 00:33:19.079
You know, people have to work.
00:33:16.619 --> 00:33:25.220
You have to you have to make a living. But I think it's very black and white, and I don't want that to be the narrative.
00:33:22.819 --> 00:33:30.440
And I also don't want the narrative to be, oh, that all these billionaires should just be giving us all their money.
00:33:27.980 --> 00:33:33.380
It's because, yes, it's a broken system. It's not a good system.
00:33:30.440 --> 00:33:43.720
I understand that. But actually, we need to work while we're politically trying to change things. We also need to look at how we can enable our kids to feel really positive about the world they're going into, yeah?
00:33:43.720 --> 00:33:46.059
Because if we don't do that, then they're just going to
00:33:46.059 --> 00:33:49.900
feel terrible, yeah?
00:33:46.059 --> 00:33:53.859
And the earlier you you take the uncomfortable steps, the better.
00:33:49.900 --> 00:33:59.319
And and just the idea of being in something that's uncomfortable and got through it and doing it, if, if that's all you get out of it, that's an amazing gift.
00:34:00.460 --> 00:34:01.740
There you are.
00:34:00.460 --> 00:34:30.739
That's the way to end this, right? So let's help our teens by giving them a positive outlook on life and and to see that the challenges that are in the workplace are exciting. And, you know, it had that explorer mindset that, you know, what can I do? Where can I go? How can I how can I find something that really interests me and try that? Oh, I made a mistake. Oh, the other thing is, actually, when they start working, please, I just told my daughter before she went in, just so, you know, you're going to really mess up, you're going to break things, you're going to drop things, you're going to, you know, things are going to be terrible.
00:34:30.739 --> 00:34:33.739
It's fine. It's we all did, you know, we all did it. I survived.
00:34:33.798 --> 00:34:36.378
And it's okay that you're just doing it for the money. Because mine are
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:44.559
definitely just, yeah, yeah. So just give your kids that heads up before they head in so they don't think it's catastrophic when they do something
00:34:44.619 --> 00:34:46.960
dreadful. Yes, because they will good advice,
00:34:48.280 --> 00:35:01.260
right? If you found this useful, go on, send it to at least one other person that you know, and you could give us a review. Yeah, we love hearing your opinions. I love hearing even the bad ones. Yeah.
00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:04.139
Yeah, we don't really get many a bad appearance. We get feedback.
00:35:01.260 --> 00:35:10.860
Give us some bad opinions. Well, no, we get, we get some direct feedback, which is fine to tell us what you think. I'm always interested teenagers.
00:35:10.860 --> 00:35:15.420
Untangled@gmail.com you can get in contact with Susie,
00:35:15.659 --> 00:35:21.920
yep. At find me on my website where all my links are. It's www. Dot. Amindful hyphen life.co.uk,
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:25.400
and social media as well. Yeah,
00:35:25.460 --> 00:35:28.820
all the links are on that. So, yeah, LinkedIn. And I'm, I'm doing
00:35:28.820 --> 00:35:37.519
a lot on LinkedIn. Now I find LinkedIn really interesting, interesting social media. Have you? Well, good for you. Yeah, good for you. So I'm not doing anything.
00:35:37.760 --> 00:35:58.179
You know what I'm doing? So what I'm doing on LinkedIn is I'm hunting for people, and I'm suddenly, I'm suddenly making connections between so someone, someone posts something. I think, Gosh, that's really interesting. I find the person follow them, and now I'm getting extraordinary. There's a lot of the people I'm interviewing are people I found on LinkedIn. Oh, really interesting. Who knew?
00:35:55.360 --> 00:36:28.039
Brilliant. Who knew? No. So if you're not on on my husband's not on social media, no, so don't worry, I think for my work, so I probably should go back on. But anyway, we have a detox. Yeah, just go on her website. She's there. You know where she is. And if you want to message, just use the Text button. Remember, I can't message you back because I can't see you. And the website is www dot teenagers untangled.com you can find all of the episodes, reviews, sign up to the newsletter. I think there's still a thing where you can leave a voicemail and that's it.
00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:30.320
Have a big hug from you and a great week. Yeah,
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:31.280
and bye. Bye for me, you
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00:35:10.860 --> 00:35:15.420
00:35:15.659 --> 00:35:21.920
00:35:23.599 --> 00:35:25.400
00:35:25.460 --> 00:35:28.820
00:35:28.820 --> 00:35:37.519
00:35:37.760 --> 00:35:58.179
00:35:55.360 --> 00:36:28.039
00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:30.320
00:36:30.440 --> 00:36:31.280
