I 'dated' as a teenager, but it was really just a random assortment of guys I said 'yes' to, then two weeks later I'd say 'no'.
I wasn't ready. Yes, I loved the buzz of attraction, and felt the urge to kiss and dance and fool around with boys, but I barely knew myself; trying to grapple with someone of the opposite sex seemed utterly insane and alien to me. That wasn't the case with all girls; some set about dating like they were at a banquet.
Teens often try dating because it feels great to experiment with their newfound sexuality, some genuinely find a connection, but the one thing that's really noticeable about young teen dating is how much of a statement it is; it can do a great deal to boost your status. When a popular boy I knew of picked me out as a girl he wished to date I suddenly became extremely interesting to all of the other boys. The girls then also gave me more respect. That's the upside; the downside is that dating the wrong person can mark you as uncool, and anything you do with anyone can and probably will be held against you by everyone who finds out... which is everyone.
Whom people are dating, or whom they fancy, is probably one of the most interesting pieces of gossip a teen could possibly share. We're social creatures and so infinitely fascinated by how connections work, and completely hard-wired to need and want a mate. Boys are still seen as having made a conquest, and girls are still... fill in the blanks.
Having researched delinquency, what I know for sure is that teen pregnancy rates have plummeted since I was at school; nobody is entirely sure why, but there's some credence in the statement that girls feel more empowered to demand contraception, but also they are simply doing less because they're not meeting socially in the ways they were before.
We parents may be tempted to breathe a sigh of relief that we don't have to worry so much about what terrible things our teens might get up to, but the downside is huge uptick in stress and anxiety in teens. They need to develop, they need to experiment, they're hardwired that way and I believe that without the social connection they need they wilt.
The experience of meeting someone whom I thought was incredible, who felt the same way, was literally life-changing. Love can inspire us to be our best self, to reach for things that seemed previously out of touch, to try harder, run fast, be our best selves. As parents, if our child finds that we need to celebrate it and invite their loved one into our life. It shouldn't matter what sex the person is, it shouldn't matter what their background. What really matters is the way they treat your teen and how the relationship helps them to grow.
I remember being told that the first person you date will set the tone for the rest of your romantic relationships. This bit of advice related more to the social class of the person. I would argue that it should be far more important to pay attention to the
I've listed toxic things to look out for, and how to manage them below.
